A quick discussion with my fellow Returning Officers has led to the decision to keep the blog open for occasional posts until the next election campaign. For more on Guido's view see my post on my own blog. Thanks for your support and attention.

Not sure what to make of this...

THE ELECTION GROUNDHOGS ARE UP FOR SALE!

Gordon and Granita the Groundhogs have worked with the Conservative Party during the 2005 General Election Campaign. Named after Gordon Brown and Granita, the famous restaurant that Tony and Gordon dined at in 1994, the groundhogs have worked tirelessly with the Party for the whole campaign.

This is a great opportunity to own a piece of election history. Gordon and Granita came out of hibernation in February and remained with the campaign until polling day.

They "come complete with a certificate of authenticity signed by Michael Howard and Lynton Crosby", apparently. It's not really the same as the snow leopard I adopted as a child.

Said 2005 ephemera can be bid for here, though clearly the email plea suggests that there's not been many takers so far. Still, Lynton's autograph hey? Phwoar!

Charles Moore in the Torygraph points out that Blair won office on the lowest number of votes since 1922, and it is the smallest share (since women got the vote) that has enabled the formation of a government with an overall majority. Its been three-quarters of a century since the governing party got less than 10 million votes. Its an even worse result when one considers that the population in 1922 was so much smaller. See also this FT article.

The Tories Gored Labour in England, winning the popular vote by 60,000 more votes than Labour. (The Tories picked up 8,086,306 votes, Labour trailed with just 8,028,512.) So its fair to say that England is under foreign occupation by a Scottish socialist party unsupported by the population, with only 1 in 5 of the English backing the regime. Expect the Campaign for an English Parliament to gain traction if not actually start an insurgency.

Guido commissioned his own research which shows a slightly different result, taking into account all eligible voters the final results were really:-

Nullist 39%
Labour 21.4%
Conservative 19.7%
Lib. Dem. 13.4%
Others 6.3%

©NotmeGuv, 2005

It was the None-of-the-Aboves wot won it...

Am now working to more deadlines than a global courier service but the election's over and so's this blog. As post-election atmospheres go, this is a weird one and no doubt Tony Blair agrees with me. Obviously Egregious George's election was unfortunate. Otis Ferry, what a muppet. Tim Collins, har-har. Chris Maines, what went wrong there? Iain Dale, blimey. Stephen Twigg, Chris Leslie, hmmm. Barbara Roche and Geraint Davies means two new GLA members soon. Roger Casale probably needs to go back to politics lecturing. Peter Law, words fail me.

Someone ought to do a Tory leadership contest blog. I'm not volunteering myself but it would be amusing to note the twists and turns. Then again, Liam Fox is just amusing full-stop.

Update 1: looks like Guido will be the unofficial Tory leadership contest blog.
Update 2: reshuffle was a non-event, Amos, Beckett and McCartney still in, Murphy out; Reid not at FCO; Browne, Hutton and Miliband promoted; Blunkett gets some of first Cabinet post back but no 'enforcer' role; Department for Productivity, Energy and Industry?

The Tories are going for weakest link politics and having failed to break that 'psychologically important' 200-seat barrier, Howard's off to spend more time with his coffin and cape Liverpool season ticket.

Interesting then that he wants to change the party's rules on electing a successor and has made his hope for a "younger leader" known.

Oh, and the Spectator's 'hypothetical' analysis today:

A victory for Howard would be a stunning vindication of his courage, resilience, patience, powers of organisation and penchant for spasmodic acts of apodeictic ruthlessness.

Whatever happens this Thursday, the Conservative party owes Michael Howard a huge debt of thanks.

...

If the Tories lose, there will be the usual gleeful post-mortem. It will be asserted that the Tories once again contrived to sound nasty, and that the campaign focused too much on immigration.

...

The dismal truth is that Labour has temporarily brainwashed the electorate into believing that there is no way of improving public services without continuing Gordon Brown’s campaign to turn Britain into a kind of Sweden.

Damn their oily hides, as Mr Burns would say.

Blair had the grace to look choked. He never has visited the wounded soldiers has he?

Unlike the Honourable Fiend, I did choose Labour today, not that it's any of your business, of course. But to my mind the choice was stark, anodyne backbench councillor or Greg 'the Africans are coming' Hands, with the result being the closest in London by all accounts. No nosepeg required, therefore.

Not that our virile PM (too much information, Tony) should take this as any kind of personal endorsement, after all, it was only lesser-evilism. It seems Will Self agreed with my choice too, bizarrely, according to today's Standard.

If only I'd kept my flat in Whitechapel though, I'd have marched to that ballot box with a fixed grin.

I spent this morning and early afternoon with some foreign observers and the diminished public interest on the ground was palpable. Tonight will be spent watching with a glass of wine in hand, sleepy but thinking of the time off in lieu.

Bozzer dictates a garbled message via The Spectator's attempt at blogging while out on the stump today:

"I've just been standing in a Conservative committee room watching the votes spool ever upwards like house prices in Oxfordshire; I am therefore full of confidence that whatever happens we are now seeing the end of the Blair premiership. Even if – which I do not for a moment concede – Tony Blair hangs on to his job tonight, he will find it increasingly unbearable. Not only will he face a revived and invigorated Tory party, but also ranged behind him will be the vengeful spirits of his backbenchers, consumed with self-loathing for what they supported in Iraq, and determined to jugulate Mr Tony as soon as they can."

An inverted pyramid of piffle, if you ask me.

Click on Image - requires Flash and sound

Surely it's self-defeating for a 'returning officer' to issue such instructions? Anyhow, here's another new site for the election, slightly against the spirit of your intentions. Don't worry, it'll all be ovah soon.


Saves on counting. I think you'll find the nullist party is going to win tonight with around 40% of the vote.


My missus hails from a country with compulsory voting -- that's the stuff of your nightmares really.

To the garden of England, where Tory Julian Brazier is embroiled in another photos on campaign literature row, according to today's Independent. He reckons his Labour opponent's own literature is "very poor". I wouldn't stand for that sort of claim, Recess.


Someone wants £10 @ 20 /1 odds on Betfair for a Labour win in Canterbury. Good luck Recess. Did I ever tell you about the embarassing time years ago when Julian and I...

A trio of viral ads found via Harry's Place that deserve a wider appreciation. After the whole UKIP nonsense and those botched subtitles on the Greens' solitary showing, they're better than what the parties have come up with.


I have to confess to really enjoying the UKIP broadcast, it was like a Harry Enfield piss-take, with Dr Who style EU monsters gobbling up Britain. (Why couldn't Roger Knapman have a shave?) You are right, it was so bad it was good...